Got snother solicitor looking at stuff (freebee) who is a friend of BIL. Not familylawyer but they all do the same training right ? also got name of another and someone else getting back to me. I just think, a few dollars spent now is worth it as at such a crossroads.
Went to pub for couple of beers tonight, watched the mighty England beat the Germans with a second string team, but back early for bed as school night...lol.. Will fill in on any developments and try and keep up with other threads.
Forgotten my user name and P word for other place, hence not been on there in a while if anyone was wondering
I just think, a few dollars spent now is worth it as at such a crossroads.
What if W gets remarried and her new H has children younger than yours. Or, if her an new H have another baby? Who is going to lose out? That is my greatest fear. Our K's get less than what they would if we stayed together. Especially when they get older and go off to college/university.
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
I just think, a few dollars spent now is worth it as at such a crossroads.
What if W gets remarried and her new H has children younger than yours. Or, if her an new H have another baby? Who is going to lose out? That is my greatest fear. Our K's get less than what they would if we stayed together. Especially when they get older and go off to college/university.
LE - Bit confused here, are you going off topic a bit and not to do with my current predicament ? Back to the old, the kids lose out in the end, we will be ok ? As, I agree, but it's the one thing you cannot make somebody see, specifically if there friends are telling them they are so much happier now I've gone and they have a new partner and in the throws of the lust and fun of a new relationship.
My biggest fear is another man being more a part of their day to day lives than I, that scares the life out of me. Especially as they are so young.
Sorry A, I meant that if you can sort out those things now with the sols that will likely crop up down the road it will save you money. I worry my W will remarry some man with children younger than ours and when my kids are ready to go to college W's new H won't be forthcoming with $ because he wants to use it for his own younger children. It is planning for those sort of doomsday scenarios that makes it worthwhile to have it laid out now. I am thinking W and I need to each contribute a certain amount every month to an education fund four our kids. Otherwise, she won't put any away and when it is time for our kids to go off to school, I will be contributing 100% and she will have nothing. Those are the sorts of things I meant by spending money now to save headaches later.
I hate the prospect of another man being a part of my children's day to day lives as well. You've read my posts, you understand my anger and frustration and it is because of that. I don't agree with W's choice. He is a principal at a school who is supposed to be a role model. He can't find a suitable woman on his own so he goes out and finds my W who is so miserable in her M and makes himself out to be Mr. Perfect. A role model would encourage my W to exhaust every means possible to save our M for the saek of the kids, instead he exhausts every means possible to smother my W with attention and get her into bed. Some role model! I don't want him around our kids. What can we do?
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
guys..the reality of the sitch is that there will be other men around your children. you can't control what your STBX does, who she sees or marries in the future..
the reality of the sitch is you will have other women around your children.
there is not one thing you can do other than say that thee be no overnight stays unless one of you remarries..and even if you say that how will you make sure it's enforced...
you can do nothing..
be a great dad. spend time with your kids. let them know how much you love them...let your actions show them how much you love them..
My divorce judgement has language that describes the sharing of college expenses based upon each of our incomes of each year during college. The total costs are projected for what it would cost at the University of Oregon (even if they dont go there) including tuition, books, boarding and other incidental costs.
I hear you about the OM. My W at least told me that her OM tried to talk her into coming back to our marriage. Because of her OM's extreme age (68), he is more of a missing grandfather for my kids.
Just a little FYI guys. No man or women can replace you if you stay involved with your kids. No matter what you are bonded to them and they to you. This should be the least of your worries. Continue to be the best father you can be and you will always be #1 in your kids books. Trust me on this.
I got sucked into the temptation of a quiet drink last night due to having a bad week I think. Hectic day yesterday too, possible new job so won't have to move to 40 min drive away in the new year (tho it would be 30 mins public transport instead to new job). Turned into another late one tho. Finally met friendsfriend34 at last, seems real nice but she vanished at some point. Did send me a text but just a little weird. Think she was scared of my charms !!! lol. Problem is she lives with her hubby and is really unhappily married, but I will not be an OM, I know what it feels like on the other foot.
Thursday nights is the way forward tho, bottles of wine for £5 ($7 ish I think) and pints of beer and smirnoff ice for £1.50, so basically all half price. Bit to tempting tho and I feel drained this morning. will need a quick hour power nap before poker tonight I think.
so, poker I didn't win but before it all started STBX started ....again....Seems to be all the time of late. First a text that if I want car today I have to pay towards tax and tyres. This was 12 hours before I'm due to have the boys, so I just ignored it. Then, she rings me when in the pub and says she wants to change my weekend day next week. I ask why, then remember it's the xmas fete, so I say no, I was looking forward to taking the boys to that, you are welcome to come with us.
She then rings back a little later and says S^ wants to talk to me, so I speak to him and he says he wants to see mummy today, so I say no, I'm looking forward to seeing you boys tomorrow, I've arranged to see some friends etc. Then briefly speak to his bruv then STBX comes on. Turns out, she said to S6, she would be tired when she has them all day Sunday this week and he got upset so she tells him he can change his day with me this weekend at 12 hours notice without speaking to me. I lost it, she is starting to use S6 as a pawn in this and it's sickening. Obviously getting nowhere speaking or shouting or whatever, so I left it that I'll pick them up at 8 as planned....goodbye and hung up.
Someone tell me, why is she getting worse ? I don't get it, she has rid of me as she wanted, as far as she understands and her solicitor says, she is going to get everything she wants and she has a new BF. Why not just leave me be to be a dad and sort the rest out through solicitors.
