Should You Be Their "Best Friend"?

[Silent Chrleader]

I think everything depends on the situation, and the people involved. For myself I agree with Puppy that it is just plain wrong and there is absolutely no excuse......but I also see that there are reasons!

If we are talking about a "serial adulterer" that just doesn't have the moral values to be monogamous, and doesn't have the courage to say so and try to find someone who shares that view and is OK with an "open" relationship, so they just live their lives deceiving their spouse, I think that is just inexcusable and the LBS should consider themselves lucky to be rid of the WAS (I know that's much easier said than done!)

But if we are talking about someone who historically has had good values and ethics, and this is an apparent real departure from the norm, then I think the situation deserves more care in dealing with it. These things don't happen in a vacuum. The truth always lies in the middle! So, one needs to look in the mirror and try to see where they may have contributed to the problem. This is especially true if there are children involved!

I have seen people on these boards who stood even when their S went off with OP. These are not doormat people, but stong caring people who had the courage to forgive and build anew. That is not weakness, I think, but true strength of heart!

I am not a religeous person at all, but I believe there is a verse in the Bible that when Jesus was asked "How many times should I forgive my brother? 7?", the answer was "Seventy times 7."

And let's not forget the verse "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

Having said that, if my H was having an ongoing affair, I don't think I would have the fortitude to try to be his "best friend". I could try to be "friendly" or at least "cordial" when in contact with him (again easier said than done), but "best friend"....???? No, I don't think so.