I haven't posted since March of '08. Thought I would check back in. I have been divorced since August of '07 and separated since July of '06. Wow. Only been on one date. Not much fun. Otherwise, I've been keeping my self extremely busy.
My ex has lost all her friends. Spends all her available time with OM. This relationship has been going on for two and a half years. He seems like the total doormat type.
For some reason, I still love my ex-wife. I am moving on with my life, but find it extremely hard to do so. I found out today that ex contacted one of her old friends and wanted to "talk". This is a friend that she went totally ballistic on last spring. I was very surprised by this. Maybe she is beaming back to earth. Maybe driving 80 miles each way several times per week to see the OM is finally getting old.
She does seem to finally be taking some interest in our girls (6, 10 and 12). Still pretty much no contact between her and me except for an occasional email. This is hard when we have joint custody.
She also watched "Definitely, Maybe" with our girls. It is a story about a couple in their late thirties that goes through divorce. Anyway, I get the feeling that she wants our kids to think that everything she has done is ok. She really seems to want people to excuse her behavior and give the thumbs up to her new boyfriend, which started out as an affair. I have a question for anyone that wants to chime in - is she still feeling really guilty???
Hi Im not sure I sense my H feels guilty especially for leaving his kids I have friends now who were WAS many years ago..They never returned to M..but still feel guilty they say the guilt has eased.. I think the WAS never quite can forgive themselves unless they receive help from counseling peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
My WAS's mother was also a WAS. She died at 59 years old alone and had felt guilty and shameful her whole life. It never resolved even when she became a Christian. It is hard to wake up every morning and look in the mirror when you do something that horrible. I believe only counseling/therapy, sincere remorse, and God would help you heal.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Thanks so much for posting. I have become a better person as a result of this process. Lots of counseling and have become a devout Christian. I think that happens to a lot of people. It is so difficult to try to forgive someone who has caused so much pain in so many lives. The selfishness is just so hard to deal with especially this time of year.
I honestly don't know how my walk away wife can look in the mirror. She apparently has a lot of trouble with this, because she can't look a lot of her former friends in the eye. She is really forcing her relationship on our kids. I find it very hard to know what to say to my kids when it comes to this relationship. She had him around well before we were separated and told them that he was just a friend. She must take them for complete idiots.
