Another wife hit by the bomb #3

[Sophie]

Hi Tawnya...just wanted to say Hi before going to bed...to
sleep...ahh...sleep has become my favorite thing and it can be such hard work!!

Your daughter's response reminded me that my sister feels my parents should have divorced WAY back. That opinion doesn't set well with me....I am proud that they stayed married til my dad died and I felt they had a strong bond.

So...different sets of eyes and personalities, I guess.

I believe though that our kids try to be strong for us so that we, the LBS, the one that isn't 'faltering' on them...stays strong and doesn't do the leaving or ending of the marriage. They are scared to death that mom and dad will divorce and they do NOT want a step parent.

I think teenagers and our MLC'ers...think alike.

I think it's a lot of pressure our kids put on themselves to help us because they are hoping with all their might, that we won't divorce our spouse.

I am a horrible writer...I hope that makes sense.

My S13 tells me it is my time to be a SAINT....and hold tight for his dad to get a grip on life and grow up.

My kids are depending on me to hold everything together....and I have done that by finally detaching enough to keep H's mood swings and drama out of our house.

This is such a long journey...my kids have grown and matured 3 years during my H's MLC...disappear-o act.

I remember thinking...no way will I put up with this more than 3 months!!!

Well...I put up with it for 18 months...then started letting go and detaching....for another 18 months.

After the stuff I've been through this week...I really feel detached. God has helped talk me through it with a lot of pep talks, reminders...and humor.

Each day is a challenge...and I didn't contact my H in any way, shape or form today...and I didn't want to:)

thanks for stopping by my saga thread....see ya later