Briget, it is so true that is much much easier to detach when you have NO contact with them. I haven't had contact with mine in about 5 years either.
All this talk about GAL sometimes comes across to me as a competition..."what can I do to get attention" from the WAS/ex sort of thing. To me, getting a life meant doing what I wanted/had to do to be happy. It didn't come down to "I'll do this so I can get his attention" sort of thing. But I think I was pretty much done with him when the D was final since he did some pretty lousy and mean stuff. I figured why would I want to even be with someone who couldn't even show an ounce of niceness or respect to me?
The kids do deal with it in their own way. You just have to set some boundaries. Since mine were old enough to communicate with their dad on their own, that made it soooooo much simpler later.
