Tired of the fight and ready to hang it up.

[Little Engine]

Journaling--W didn't forget meeting and rang me up as I was driving through a little town about ten miles east of her hometown. She wasn't far behind me and asked if I remembered the meeting. I said I hadn't and told her where I was. She said "Slow down and you will see me, I am just coming up to the highway." I thought that was sort of weird. We had the meeting at the school and then W asked if I could stay and watch the kids while she went to the bank to sign the paperwork for a new car. "Uhhhh, sure?" So the kids and I played for about an hour and then W came home and joined us for a bit and I started helping kids with their homework. S has much more homework this year and says he feels really overwhelmed. D had a little bit of reading to do so I helped her with that. W pulled me into the bedroom and started with some talk about the D and I got upset and explained that what she is doing is hurting our kids. I went out to the front room to take the kids to gymnastics and told W "They are hurting because of what you and OM are doing, and they are going to grow up and know who wanted to work it out and who didn't!" I took S & D to gymnastics and W went to her social club.

W said "I don't know" a bunch last night. I probably heard that from her more than anything. I guess I feel the same way. She will not change, is only in it for herself and I have been fighting this for twelve years. I think I don't have anything left and then my kids start crying when I have to leave. W doesn't see that they are in pain. I said "Go ask them, would they rather have me back home and us together or you carting them to see OM all the time?" Frustrating.