I spoke with a partner in my firm who is on a committee in our city to help attorneys with mental health issues. He recommends the following:
I contact the partner with whom I had dinner. Tell her there is likely a partner or a small committee within her firm set up to deal with these issues and then let her/them take it from there.
That way I am uninvolved (beyond telling the partner how to proceed) and he may be inclined to at least consider that something is wrong with him if his employer is telling him there are problems.
