That's why I like you Puppy! You say what you think even if it's not "DB correct". Thanks for your advice and I think you are right! I spent a little time looking back through my written journal last night and saw how strong I was feeling and wondered where that went!? When my son told me the truth on the 5th, I think I was in shock (even though I always suspected it). Then I felt righteous anger, which is what got me through that first confrontation with H.
Then H seemed to be waking up at least a bit and seeing that his actions were not honorable, and I didn't want to "push" too much and make him run, and I wanted to be the "safe place he could fall". But, then during our MC last week, H clammed up at first (didn't know what to say) and when C looked to me for direction, I asked H why he there, and he started to say what he was sorry for and then seemed to stop almost mid-sentence and changed and said he'd wanted a divorce all along and never wanted to "go back" and he thought there was too much water under the damn! And the C didn't help at all!! So, I think I just panicked!!
I feel like I have lost a lot of ground in just two weeks since the PA bomb. How do I get that ground back? H is stepping up to the plate on spending time together to see what happens one day at a time, but it is out of guilt I know. I am confused about what my attitude should be, so my emotions have too much influence over me, I think. Am I the soft place to fall, or the cool aloof self-confident woman to whom it doesn't matter if he comes or goes. I want to be both, but have no idea how to achieve that.
By the way, H did get STD tested, and so did I and we both have re-tests in 6 months.
Again, thanks for you time (((((Puppy))))).
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
