Trying2Live-Post #5

[AllW8SBF]

Ok I'm going to go back and read more but needed to make note of a few things I read from everyone.

First you girls are some of the most brillant and grounded woman I know. Hell yeh he should be able to get a clue of his own on what I want - I'm sure he can't because he is so wrapped up in himself, but his birthday is a week after mine and I already bought 1 thing - it is small and cost like nothing so in case we didn't buy gifts I wouldn't be too upset spending money. But I know it's something he'd like - duh it's Cowboys.

Next someone asked - Marisol I think, about the DB coach, for me (I talk to Cheryl), I can't say that it's absolutely necessary. I mean, I think praying is WAY more important and useful and it's free! Even if God does nothing I feel better when I think of God and all the great things he's done in my life, even after all this. But I have NONE to talk to about this, (with the exception of you girls and I feel horrible for coming on here so much and some of the things I say can't be fun to hear), and now I'm really feeling bad for telling my sis, because she's dealing with a lot, and now she just brought up if H is taking his meds and that she worries that she knows all this and is not telling M & D and then if he did something to me she'd feel so guilty.
So for me I need talk to someone who is pro marriage and can handle this. IE DB coach. But I think a priest could do the same. But I still can't believe that is what their there for. So I can't get myself up to talking to one, don't know where to start.
I only talk to DB coach every other week. And they get you in for 3 sessions, but tell you there is a special if you do 6. So I did that.
She really just listens to me, and I tend to make the realization of what I need to do. But WHY can't I get the answer when the problem occurs - IE when he's passive aggressive.

Where in OK you going Marisol?
I've been thinking of taking a road trip to TX just before the TG holiday and it would take me through Tulsa.

I'm not sure about the PI Hope, part of me thinks sure to protect yourself both with concerns to Divorce but also at work, if you have a PI and work finds out about H and what do you call her she got all that work done, well you can say you had suspicions but needed to get proof before you could come forward so that protects your job too.
And I think the thought is that it may help drag out the divorce giving more time for H to come out of fog but I think that could push him farther in. So I'm more on the side of no PI.

And HOPE, I'm not sure what D would do for H since he can't come out about how he misused his position at company for he'd lose job. But am I getting the feeling your thinking that he's thinking so crazy he won't care how f*cked his life gets?

This Thursday my church has a Divorce Recovery thing about dealing with the holidays. I'm not going - I'm going to the movies with some girls I just met.
And Rejoice Ministries just did their thing about the holidays saying that it's really worse for H's during this time. We have family, and with the exception of H not there we continue our traditions where they can't/don't.

OK this is long enough, and I need to go back to first post and read forward now.