Thanks for checking on me. I am a long way from making the call. I have posted here for thoughts, so thank you for yours.
I cannot get a good read on my gut which is one of the reasons I will not make the call right now. In addition to posting here, I am going to talk with a trusted relative of mine (not H's)tonight for his thoughts. I will also ask this relative to get H to meet with him. Not to discuss me or any theories about depression, but so that my relative can form his own opinion.
Part of the problem is that until the dinner I had with H's partner on Monday, I thought H was only miserable when he was around me. Then his partner told me how angry and miserable he is all day at work. So, I think the more people we know in common who can see him and help assess his state, the better.
I am also reading as much as I can on the MLC board. I am not convinced H is in MLC - it's possible but some of the things I see repeatedly in other threads are missing in H, so I'm not sure. I am pretty certain that he is depressed. I do realize that I cannot make him admit that or make him better but since this resource is out there, I want to give it due consideration.
Another reason I hesitate about making the call is that H may very well suspect me. On the day he left me (pre-DB knowledge) I gave him an article on the symptoms of depression in men. I have since backed off trying to convince him he has depression but he could easily suspect me.
I think what I will likely do is wait. I do believe the partner I had dinner with would call me if he gets worse. She asked what she could do. At that point, I could always ask her to make the call to the program. After all, she is a lwyer, too and more responsible for him professionally than I am.
