16, 14, 11, and 8. Thank you! That was good perspective coming from someone with first hand knowledge. I think OD's problems are all three that you listed. I think the disloyalty is a VERY big part of it and you are right. Not only will I not feed into that I guess I need to explain to them that their meeting Mom's BF is NOT being disloyal to me. I will also bring up the fact that at some point they will be meeting someone on my side.
