Maybe I should be in piecing part 3?

[Hope4us]

Thanks Break.

I have some thinking to do. It seems to me that we're past the demanding NC point. Maybe it's a mistake, but I see us at a point where she's NC or mostly NC (given OM has moved on to the next love of his life) and is watching me to see if I will revert to doing the things she's complained about.

Is that fair? No. Does it seem like I'm the one doing everything and she's just sitting back enjoying the ride? Yes. Two quotes that I've read come to mind. "do you want to be right or do you want to be married"? And "Many times the betrayed partner will have to do all the work without getting any of their needs met until the wayward heals sufficiently and completes withdrawal from the OP".

I think the first quote bout sums up my sitch. And you don't know how hard that is for me. There have been so many times that I've wanted to scream "I know I made some mistakes, but if you think our life was so terrible, then get the F out". And I don't know, maybe that would work, but knowing how bullheaded W is, I don't think she'd react the way I want her to if I said that.

So...I'll have to think about it. I just know that it seems that W is opening up to me slowly, oh so slowly, and right now I don't think she needs the pressuring kind of talk. Just reinforces one of her complaints. And she's probably right about that. In my family, my mom and dad would argue about something, it would be solved and they'd move on. I LOVE a good arguement. W hate them. Her family is so conflict avoiding it isn't even funny. I need to learn (and I'm getting there) that W doesn't respond to the arguing that is normal in my family. And I'm not talking like fighting-arguing. Just making points and arguing it out until it's figured out. W feels like if anyone challenges her on a thought, they're putting her down and I LIKE it when someone challenges me on a thought, it gets me thinkin!