I've tried that "you can never have contact with him again" route and she just saw that as me controlling her.
I think you're way of putting it is better, H4U. It doesn't make it a line in the sand when you don't have to do it that way. There is NO POINT in saying you can never have contact and now you won't. It is both going to FEEL controlling, and FEEL like, instead of not trusting her, that you think she can't control herself. Maybe you do think that but there is no value in telling her so.
