Today is a little rough forme. I am ambivalent again about what my next step should be. I hate being ambivalent, I want to be sure of myself.
We got an e-mail from the principal an hour or so ago....seems that one of our third grade kiddos lost his dad overnight to a heart attack....just six weeks ago a first grade boy lost his dad to a blood clot after a knee surgery
This just gets me all rattled inside. How can Dan (and, in turn, I myself) live in this limbo state for so long? Life is going on all around us.
His mom and dad both have cancer, who knows what will happen with them?
My dad suddenly took two days off of work yesterday to drive to Colorado to see his cousin, who was raised almost like a sister to him, because after 10 years of fighting she is now losing her battle with cancer....
Two little boys have lost their dads in the past 6 weeks. They can never get time with their daddy back.
Now don't get me wrong dan spends time with the kids, they are going swimming tonight while I am at night class, he is a good dad. But to be living in such a conflicted state, you can't TRULY be living your life, I don't think....IF either of us were to leave this earth tonight from some random tragedy, I think we would BOTH regret how much time has been WASTED just thinking/analyzing/worrying........
I just want to beat him over the head, tell him life is too short to live in a self-imposed state of indecision.........
