I just need to be careful how I frame this. I'm not sure if I'll connect the poor performance to the Affair, she'll surely be able to figure that out on her own, but if she says anything about not wanting to move, I'll definitely restate my comments about OM moving back here and that I can't live here with him in the area. Whether she moves with us is up to her, but I CAN'T not move.
I think you do need to be careful how you frame it. The way you talk about it in this paragraph is pretty good...You need to do what you need to do to heal from this situation and move on with some degree of sanity.
Yes, these are consequences of "what she did." But they are also consequences of the marriage breaking down...sad consequences. I would say be careful of having it come down to, verbally I mean, that the family has to move and it's all her fault. She's ruined your job (and life presumably) and now you have to move. Even if you feel that's true... I think you have to walk a fine line here. Only because if she feels like okay, I've ruined it...they think it's all my fault, maybe it is...what's the point anymore...
I don't know if I'm making any sense...I'm having a hard time articulating what I mean here.
