New Me - Will WAW ever notice?

[Phoenixdeux]

I'd have to agree with Tim; you are making the OM look great by comparison. You are lashing out and really looking like a hurt little boy. How is anything you are doing different than when you were married? She's sounding like the one more put together and you the one falling apart. She must feel something for you or she'd have told you to take a hike. Although, she wants something from you, so she'll be on her best behavior.

So my question: Do you still want her?

If the answer is yes, then you need to start changing your approach.
1) Quit with the ignoring her stuff. To me it shows you are pouting, not detaching. Detached is the ability to act like she's important, without showing you are hung up on her. It's a fine line to walk. It's taking a moment to say, "Hi, how was your day? How are you doing? What's up?", rather than walking on by, grunting, and acting like you don't have time for her. You take that moment to talk, and then move on. It's the ability to listen to her without having a personal stake in the outcome. If this was a friend at work telling you how broke they were and feeling bad, how would you handle it?

2) Quit with the digs. It's not going to win her back. You don't have to accept her chatting with OM in front of you, but otherwise you need to be strong. Control the urge to force OM out of her life and just be the attractive alternative. Some attention, more confidence, friendly, smile, but not hung up on her.

3) This issue with the babysitting is tricky. What if a close friend had a similar issue and asked to use your house. What would you do? Take everything out of the equation. Remove the fact that this is your wife, she's got OM, and you feel rejected out of this. What would you do if this was a friend? Personally, if it were me (and the insurance was possible), I would say yes. Is that the right thing? I don't know, but I do know that she a) tolerates your digs, which is a good sign, b) turned to you for help (rather than someone else), c) you aren't on unfriendly terms and d) It will give you a little time, every day, to show her a guy who is strong enough to be around his wife, listen, and show loving detachment (without going overboard), rather than the boy that is lashing out, tilting at windmills. This thing with OM will end. She might not even have to move to AK before that happens. Would you like to be the guy that she picked over OM?