Stage 2.25

[istherehope]

Hi Opt,

No worries about hijacking!!! I do want to see some updates from you though, so please post soon including the details from your session with Jody :).

So as for me, I sent H the email this morning basically about not staying in my friend's house. I really can't describe the email other than to say that I tried to make it really funny and write in gangster style. It is going to sound worse and worse the more I explain it so will try not to give too many details...The email essentially said that I had just been chatting with my friend, and that she was coming home this weekend, so I didn't really need to be there except on Saturday afternoon to feed the cat. I said it was fine for me to feed the cat on my lunches, but that I was flexible and could stay there too as it suited. It was a really weird email, but I am thrilled to have gotten no response at least yet...

I have to admit that I was nervous after sending it, but H IMd me some news article this morning, and then I knew he wasn't freaking out about it. We continued IMing about gifts for his family, and we were picking them out together, and then I bought them and sent them.

The other thing that happened is that H brought up Xmas last night. He said, when we were in bed, I guess we really can't afford to go away for Xmas even if we wanted to. So I wasn't sure how to read that, and just agreed that it would be expensive and he was probably right. Somehow then we got to what if it was somewhere cheap for 2 days, and he asked where that would be, said he wanted it to be somewhere warm, then were back to Morocco which would need to be 7 days. I looked up costs and such this morning, and mentioned them to him. It was the usual, "let's just see", but he was fine with me researching...I have done the research, and we'd need to book really soon, but I think I will avoid sending that email with costs today in case he is feeling overwhelmed. I think it was a good sign that he brought it up at all though.

Last night was another comfortable night where we watched some DVDs, ate a nice dinner, sat close to each other on the couch, but nothing else. He does poke at my behind, but this is as far as physical affection is really going at the moment. I'm OK with this though as I've learned it really needs to come from him...In bed we laid close to each other again, with arms and legs touching. He rubbed my nose, so I guess this is the other physical affection that happens.

So assuming there is no negative reaction to my email, I'm really pleased with where we are at. I mean I definitely miss being able to make future plans together and just even give each other hugs, but if we can be in the same house together, I am sure we will get there. At the moment I am incredibly grateful for every small thing I have, and if we can get through this, I can't imagine ever taking anything for granted again...I know this sounds corny, but I can't believe it took me all of this to realize what a great thing I had, and hopefully will have again...

ITH