Maybe I should be in piecing part 3?

[Hope4us]

Well, I talked to W about the move. It wasn't too bad. S16 wants to go right now, but W thinks she and S16 should stay here until the end of the school year before moving.

I told her I knew she'd probably want to stay here until her temp assignment is over in Feb/Mar, but I thought it would be ok if we moved and S16 changed schools at the end of the first semester (mid Jan). She doesn't like that idea.

As we were talking about it, I said to her "you don't want to move"? And she said, "no, but I don't really have a choice". I was so close to saying, "yes you do", but I didn't go there.

I said to her, "so you're thinking I should go and you and S16 stay until the end of the school year and then you guys would move" and she said that's what she was thinking.

So, we still have to talk it out. No decisions made yet. I know she's upset, but she wasn't angry about it or anything. It's going to be hard for me if she complains about the move to not say "We are moving for one reason only, and that's your affair. If you hadn't had the affair I can guarantee we wouldn't be moving". I'm kind of torn whether to say that to her or not. I mean, that is the ONLY reason we're moving. And the sooner she see's that, the sooner she can possibly come to grips with the consequences of her actions.

Shortly after we talked about it, I had to go get a haircut. On the way to the haircut, I called her because I'd seen a big accident on the highway (it was really icy) and she was laughing, upbeat, etc. But when I got home she was kind of quiet. S16 was letting all his frustrations about the whole situation come out in the form of bit*hin about his school, etc. He went on for a good hour or more. I think it probably had an affect on W. Hopefully she get's the fact that if she'd have come to me prior to the affair and TALKED to me about her issues in the marriage, we wouldn't be moving right now, but she didn't and now I (and S16) HAVE to move, with or without her.

I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Finally I don't feel like I'm living in limbo land anymore. Either she'll move with us, which tells me she wants to try without her saying so, or she'll tell me she wants to stay and then I can move on with my life.

But it's still kind of sad that this is what my life has become.