FG- that sounds right to me. He has a prior thing going on with the IC, and the counselor is right - it would be inappropriate, starting off on the wrong foot, for you to jump into that with marriage counseling.
I'm a little wary of this IC, though. Read the article - you want references from *clients*, not references from counselors. Please take it to heart. Don't rush into counseling. Find the right one. Take your time. It's important.
My recommendation would be to discard the list of referrals from the counselor. Discard it completely. Go talk to your pastor. Talk to your friends - if they haven't been to counseling maybe they know someone who has. Find references from people who were in your shoes. It sounds awkward but it is worth it.
I wish I had done this! I too, was in a rush. I tool was impatient to get started.
Look at it this way - if you were about to undergo a major home renovation, would your focus be on getting started quickly? or on finding the right professional for the job. Someone What about surgery - would you want it done right now? or would you want to find the right doctor? MC is not different.
DO NOT go to a therapist that lists "marriage therapy" as one of the things he or she does, along with adolescents, child therapy and family therapy. That is called a generalist. Go to a specialist. A therapist who does ONLY marital therapy. It's different. It important. Don't overlook this.
