Kerry...thank-you for the post above. i have been doing alot of soul searching this evening / morning. trying to examine if I am more bothered with the boyfriend issue or D7's reaction to it (or more precisely her crying in the car). I am sure it is the latter. I am getting to the point where I do not care what W does. It is just that I am afraid of the impact on D7. Like DBing, I can only control myself in all this. I need to find happy and need to find it soon for my sake and for D7. I have been doing a lousy job of GALing and detaching and it has poisoned me.....perhaps D7 senses that. I received a response to my e-mail this morning and I am not surprised that my W blames me for D7's mood. She even went as far as saying that D7 seems troubled when she is with me????? Ok so she is with me for 2 days per week, starts weeping 2 minutes into our car ride, asks me regularly about my feelings toward her mother and the possibility of getting back together. I guess it does not occur to W that perhaps D7 feels safer bringing up her insecurities with me. I still can not believe that W sees nothing wrong with exposing our daughter to another man .....I am starting to doubt if I am over dramatizing all this. Let's see we were on holiday in the DR roughly 4 months ago and there is someone new sleeping in daddy's bed.....oh yeah and she is troubled when she is with me.......
John, she knows as well as you do what's wrong with your D7. She is guilty and is shifting the guilt to you because she probably cant take it. Watch anything written, you are heading for a divorce, you never know how these things may be used in the future... xxx K
Thanks K, you are right no more e-mails to W....I have to be up in 4 hrs........boss is in town and we are seeing customers together.....can you say long day. BTW, I seriously doubt W can feel guilt about anything.
Where is my towel I need to stop moving and swallowing.....I used to know a girl way back who did not move much or ....oh never mind.
John, she knows as well as you do what's wrong with your D7. She is guilty and is shifting the guilt to you because she probably cant take it. Watch anything written, you are heading for a divorce, you never know how these things may be used in the future... xxx K
GO TO SLEEP
Ding,Ding Ding..Kalni wins..
John..GAL buddy..hard start today..do something and get out of your head..
Mike's "secret"=Gal like a mo'fo'... and with a female when possible
and on the OM thing around your D7..not much you can do..I bit the bullet after my 1st D and just got to know the guy..and actaully ended up telling my son in front of the guy that my son better mind him and show him respect when he was around him..Of course my son was acting out and I had reason to say this to my son...different sitch all together but you get my drift I think..
keep talking with your D7 about her feelings and don't shut her out..I know you won't..if things continue to bother D7 then get her in C...kids need someone they can talk too..
and John..all you feel is normal..you're doing ok..just keep moving forward..GAL.
John, I haven't posted much to you, I am kind of at a loss for words. Having to see D7 go through this has to suck very badly. I am thinking of you, and I hope you get out and do some things for John Boy. (Thought I'd add yet another nickname...)
BBJ, don't worry about posting to me you have enough things on your plate....yes I will need to concentrate on me a little more.
Mike, D7 actually did tell me that she would be mean to OM if it meant trouble for W and OM. I told her to be nice and respectful like you would be any other adult.
K, W did call me today with D7 and actually invited me to lunch to discuss....I politely declined. She did call back to suggest that we stay away from e-mails that could be misinterpreted. My boss was in the car at the time so I may have seemed a little cold and quick to end the phone call.
So where does trhat leave John Boy? I have to slowly begin to get my life back. This week I am busy with my boss...next week I will begin by putting out some feelers that I am now available to explore BF option at least for coffee etc.... I have to start somewhere.
This week I am busy with my boss...next week I will begin by putting out some feelers that I am now available to explore BF option at least for coffee etc.... I have to start somewhere.
I have to ask but does BF stand for Boy Friend? Not that there is anything wrong with that.
and with a female when possible