I have to pay $3000 per month alimony and child support.
Do you have a time frame on the alimony and child support? Isn't alimony(or otherwise known as maintance) and child support separate issues? You can deduct the alimony, not the child support. Since your wife already has a job, how much retraining, etc, does she need in order to support herself? (at least that is how it is in my state). Child support should/could also be decreased when D16 reaches D18 so you'd be paying child support for only one child after that. All states don't require that child support continue through college. That doesn't mean you won't contribute.....you just may not want it as part of the settlement.
Can you also put a clause in there that alimony stops if your wife remarries or even lives with someone???
Have you talked to your lawyer about this proposal?
Re. all the money she has saved (while she was asking you for more money to send the girls to Thailand, etc).......don't you get half??? Is that really HER money or your joint savings???
Don't cheat yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (from someone who gave in way too easily in my settlement )
My STBXW has a math degree from Boston College, hardly a dolt. She is so overwhelmed by her own importance as an office manager (always refering to partners By their last tname only...way cool!) She could do way better than the 68K she "commands" in the Northeast...stupid pay scales.
Remarrying will be a chore for her. Her paramour is still married "physically", but not "emotionally", still wears hs wedding ring and goes home to his own room at night (Yech!) THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER!
I haven't talked to my lawyer yet. I will. I am in a ggod place financially and more importantly MORALLY!
I hear you on that, F. Good to know that you are passing this thing before your L. I do hope you call me; there are lots of other things to consider...Mattie brought up 2 good ones. I am only getting a very small amount over state requirements for child support. And the alimony is only for 8 years; half the duration of the marriage.
See...THAT's how I get up so early! You're still posting at 10PM and I'm already well on my way to interrupted, horrible 4-5 hours of unrestful sleep:-)
I am SO grateful that my sleep and appetite is back to near-normal levels. I had never experienced either problem before in my life, and it SUCKS. Weird thing though, was that when I was sleepless (maybe getting 2 hours/night), I didn't even feel tired. I think it was the constant adrenelin...always ready for fight or flight.
That is an excellent idea FL. You have to look at the tax consequences. If she keeps the kids and deductions for them, the house, the medical bills, etc., she will not be paying taxes for any of that. I think in cases like yours an accountant is even more important than a lawyer. Like Donna said, CS is not tax deductible, so if $2k of the $3k were for CS, that would be paid from you after taxes - you would pay SS, fed, state, and local taxes on that $2k. If you think about it, it would be more like $3k - or most likely more more in your bracket with no deductions. And that would be tax FREE income for her. It makes a heck of a difference. I guess that's why some people like to get paid under the table!
I also agree that there needs to be a time limit for alimony. After all, when the kids are all grown, you sure don't want to have to be continuing to contribute to her lifestyle.
You soung as if you're getting to the point where you are beginning to take up for yourself. Good for you! Just don't bite on her emails. Tell her what you wish when the deal is done. But keep cool now.
S10's hockey is form 5-6. Is that good? No school today? My day is jammed.
Spoke with lawyer yesterday. He said go with the mediator's recommendation. She is also going to modify it next time so that we pay half of the medical, half of the extracurricular. I thing I'm ok with that
Who pays for the insurance? If you are paying for health insurance then maybe you should subtract that from your half of the expenses. Health insurance is not cheap I know.
Re. the extra activities.....can you have a say before you agree to half? Some of it could just be normal child support (words from my ex!). I know you would agree to hockey, but trips to Thailand???? I would want to know that child support is going for the children and not just to let your wife live in the lifestyle she has grown accustomed!
)