This morning W was looking online for Christmas presents for the girls. I mentioned that she has credit on the card I paid for her and she got snippy about not wanting to use that.
I said 'ok, I didn't mean anything, I was just reminding you. You're being snippy'
She had her back to me and didn't say anything so I asked her if I offended her. She ws crying and said that ' I just have trouble accepting help from people, even though I know I NEED it.'
So I said 'ok, I'm sorry I won't offer to help you any more if that's what you want'.
She says 'No, it's not just you, it's anyone who tries to help me.'
WHAT?!?!?!
Sorry Frank but I'm gonna have to throw up the bullsh*t flag on that statement your wife made.
Simply put, she's full of crap.
That woman hasn't had one iota of a problem with people "helping" her. She has been taken care of by you her whole marriage. The people she "works" for basically take her on friggin vacations and she gives them a few hours of her time in return. She lives with someone and can't possibly contribute much.
SHE'S BEEN A TAKER HER WHOLE LIFE.
It takes one to know one, my friend. I was the same way.
Before.
And I can almost guarantee you she isn't having a problem "taking" now, either.
The problem she is having is that SHE doesn't have jack sh*t and Christmas is right around the corner.
Oh, I remember well that first Christmas after Jeff and I first separated. I was tore up over it. But not motivated enough yet to get off MY ass and change MY life and MY contribution to MY family.
She's on her pity pot.
And she damn well knows you will handle the MAJORITY of Christmas.
As always.
And she will seethe over it inside, though she may not recognize the emotion for what it is at the time - the feeling of worthlessness. More than likely she will react angrily towards YOU. That's the nature of the beast. For a season.
But with any luck, she'll jump up and grab herself a clue afterwards.
It took a couple more Christmases for me though.
Of course, I'm a stubborn one and was filled to overflowing with foolish pride. I don't see too much of that in your wife yet. Let her get a halfway decent job, though. And you'll see it too.
Just remember, pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before the fall.
That I can promise you.
Because making money isn't ever going to fill the void your wife has in her life.
