Thanks for checking on me, Sunshine. I'm glad you are biased.
I'm also glad I was finally a bit angry. However, I don't want to seem petty and childish in my response. Was I?
In the end, I won't force her to cancel her trip. I just won't be that way. She can choose to be like that toward me, but I won't do it. That isn't the man I am nor wish to become.
I'll see what she decides to do and go from there. I hate the fact that everything is about her. She could care less if our daughter gets to see her other side of the family. It is all about her and her needs and comfort.
I'm really, really tired of her. This exhausts me to no end.
Nope, you were polite, straight and you made it clear that this coparenting thing must work both ways... I know you wouldn't push her to cancel the trip but granted all the sh!t you have taken from her it's good that you let her know that there is an end to "abuse", "if you push somebody hard enough he is bound to push you back...". Keep it "clean" and clear. Set your boundaries. You have many many years of interaction to survive through. Love K
RTL - I so hope you can work out the Christmas time arrangements. It sucks that you X is such an a$$. The differences in her and your emails are telling of ones character.
Rob, Sorry your XW is such a whack job. Wow, what kind of person would deny a 5 year old a trip to her grandparents for Xmas? Knowing your parents have paid for the flight, how could she??? She is very lucky, you don't say,that there is nothing in writing about a "noon" drop off. You were so smart to elude to the fact there are no emails or texts about it, in your reply. She just so needs to get the idea that if she is not going to be reasonable, she will maybe haven to adhere to exactly what is legal. If she insists on the time maybe you could pay the fee to change to a later flight, it would be such a shame for your parents to lose the money and also not have G on the holiday.
Thanks for giving me feedback. I got her reply...here it is:
Quote:
Reread your e-mail. You begin by apologizing, then you berate and threaten me. STOP being defensive. That is not necessary. You should have stopped the email after "So what are you saying?" and given me an opportunity to continue the discussion.
What I am saying is that I don't appreciate the way this was handled. PERIOD. I discussed all of these changes to visitation and my travel to Indiana with you IN ADVANCE and you agreed to everything. I gave you an opportunity to have input -- to have an opinion.
I am asking you for the same courtesy. Discuss things with me FIRST, rather than just demanding to have your way and/or shoving a decision down my throat.
I am not a bitch, Rob, and this is a point which you have clearly missed for years. I would not punish your family financially or otherwise -- or Grace -- because of a two hour difference. I am asking you for some respect and consideration. It shouldn't be that difficult.
Send me the flight itinerary and I will meet you at the airport -- this time.
Ok, am I the only one that thought her original e-mail was a definitive NO on my getting my daughter at 10 am? In her reply above, she acts like she's doing me a favor and was simply starting a discussion. I guess I missed that one.
So, I started to reply, then stopped. I'm thinking I'll simply say "Thanks for getting back to me. I'll send you the flight information when I get it." Do I address anything she said or just leave it? I also wonder if I should mention that I should have talked w/ her first before oking the tickets.
I think she got the message Rob. We call these people rudecowards, they act aggressively to intimidate the other person and usualy backtrack fast when they find resistance...
Good job, great news about your trip. Send her the itinerary and say something, "I am glad we worked this out". xxx K
Rob, say thanks and NOTHING MORE! Either she is bipolar and the drugs have kicked in or she has a serious substance abuse problem. It was she who threatened, not you. I think the best way to handle her is be very very brief and to the fact and ignore the ramblings that seem to border on psychotic!
Kalni, Kerry, and Bizarre - thanks for the input. I haven't sent anything back to her, but she did send me a text about 2 hours ago letting me know she'd replied to my e-mail.
I'm going to contact my mother and get the flight info. and then send it off to her w/ a simple "Here's our information. Thanks." and leave it at that.
Bizarre, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks she was attacking and threatening me in the e-mails. I certainly didn't attack. It is good to be reassured that I'm not crazy.
Also, Kalni, I think you may be right that she backed down quickly when I spoke up and then tried to turn the tables on me. I appreciate what Kerry said that the strength of my character was able to show through my e-mail and contrasted hers.
Oh, and so I don't forget, Nut, I know you are right and I wouldn't want that type of relationship or be that man. It is fun - in a twisted way - to think of doing it, but in the end, there is ZERO way I'd be "that" person. I'll leave that role up to XW for now.
I'm heading to a golf lesson now and I'll check in w/ you all in a bit.
