Well, I am no accountant.....but even with NO deductions she wouldn't pay a straight 28%. It is a graduated scale, she would only pay 28% on a portion of it. Please....plus won't she get to claim D16....AND D18 if she is in school? ..Not to mention mortgage interest, taxes...etc. No way she would pay 28K on 100K.
Quote:
In her last email, she ended it with "as the childrens' father, I'd assume you would put their health and best interest first"
I really want to respond "don't go down that road with me"
That would be really hard for me to hold back on....in fact I am not sure I could...but it would do no good. You can't make her see things any other way.
I know you both probably want to help D18 with school....but there is nothing saying you have to go broke doing it. My parents couldn't afford it so I made do...student loans and working...and 24K sounds like A LOT for school to me...maybe she SHOULD go to a cheaper school.
Sorry FLTC I know this is hard. I didn't have to deal with the aspect of having kids but I did have to deal with being in college when my parents went through it. It is hard on your kids just as it is hard on you, but people do what they have to do....maybe D18 should have to be responsible for at least a portion of schooling??
Well, with that mortgage, medical bills, and at least some educational expenses being deductible, I think the Federal tax is going to be way closer to zero than 28k! Maybe 5-10k ish. D18 may need to get some scholarships, or take some loans, like everyone else does! And a state school isn't out of the question.
Thanks, guys. The last email from her did it for me. I have been bullied and kicked to the curb for at least the last three years. I can't take it. I'm SICK of it. I spent a year in hell in Iraq, and what the fu&k else can be done to me? All I wanted to do is keep my family together and follow through on the vows I made 22 years ago, and all she does is abuse me. She has the gonads to talk about my best interest being with the kids?
We had a $210,000 combined income, and my son may not be able to afford hockey next year, much less college.
She's having an affair with her married boss who is AN ATTORNEY and a partner in the firm she manages. That pr**k bought my D16 a Jeep when I was in Iraq, and she had the nads to ask for a copy of my ID for the Veteran discount. D16 refers to him as Mom's Boyfriend AND HE STILL LIVES WITH HIS WIFE AND WEARS A WEDDING RING. Has she really gone nuts?
Sorry DBer's I fired the response below out to her. Her first 2 emails to me are at the bottom. I have the moral and financial high ground so far. F%*k it! Just imagine if I really leave the reservation and email every partner in the firm, the ABA and call his wife.
This will be my last email no matter how she responds. She threatened to serve me at my job yesterday. I work in a high school. Do you know how embarassing that would be?
MY RESPONSE:
Some of the numbers you gave are misleading. The interest on the mortgage is deductible, my rent is not. You will not pay $28,000 in taxes. I'm not sure D16's expenses will be $24,000 a year, but if they mount we can talk. You may have deductions for both of the kids. D18 may have to come home and attend a school in state. As for my savings growing as you mentioned, the vast majority of that savings was accrued while I was in Iraq, knowing that I would need to pay legal bills. Please don't accuse me of not putting the kids' health and best interest first. You don't want to go down that road with me.
FROM STBXW:
I'm not trying to be argumentative about this, just realistic and honest. I have no idea how long D16 will need medical care. The money in the savings will in large part be used to buy you out of the house and based on the way it looks to pay for some very basic expenses not to mention some kind of college for D16. I'm sure your budget is tight as well but it does appear you're still able to add to your savings as you go. The costs I outlined are real and I'm assuming as the kids' father their health and well being come first.
EMAIL 1 FROM STBXW:[/b]
FLTC, > >We are really going to have to rethink the distribution of > income that we talked about yesterday. I don’t see how I can > begin to make it based on the split. If I have $104000 a year > and am expected to cover all medical and education costs here’s what > >it looks like: > > > >Gross income: $104,000 > > > >D18 College: - $25,000 > >Mortgage: - $25,000 > >FedIncomeTax: - $28,000 > >D16's Med Cost: - $24,000 > > > >Net Income: - $2,000 > > > >Obviously this doesn’t allow for food, clothing, heat, D16's > college, S10's braces, car insurance for the girls or anything > else. Please let me know what your thoughts are. > >
I agree, how many people have we read about that had to give up their house because they couldn't afford it....and the D wasn't even their decision!!! I don't think it is your problem, if she wants the house she has to be able to afford it.
I had to get another job AND move...there is no way I could have afforded the house we were in with the job I had.
The only thing I think should be any concern to you is your D16's health care and D18's school.....but you ARE paying her 3K a month!! This was HER desicion...consequences my friend.
FLTC, I didn't find your email that nasty to begin with but, that said, you did fall for a "content hook". Her email was actually quite civil and she was expressing her views on the sitch but when she wrote "I'm assuming as the kids' father their health and well being come first" you went for it! Firstly, she does have a right to try and get the best deal for herself and what she sees as her and the families needs. Her past infidelity etc has nothing to do with what is being discussed here, you need to recognize this. Now, when she writes "I'm assuming...." you could reply "thank you for recognizing my dedication to my children as a father and rest assured I will always put their interests first. I believe that my proposal does in fact do this, I'm sorry you do not agree" Keep it business like and polite, don't threaten "you don't want to go there..." You MUST put aside the crap that you've taken and always remember YOU chose to take the crap! You chose to stay as a good man should have but YOU made that choice. I too, stayed years beyond what anyone else believed was good for me but I made that choice knowing what kind of treatment I could expect. It hurts bad, I agree but WE chose to stay. That's done, this is a whole new ballgame. It's hard to see it that way, I know. So, stay strong, stand your ground but let the past be and negotiate with your children's best interests in mind. She has her view and you have yours, try to work it out and if it can't be then take it to mediation etc but it HAS to be worked out. Hang in there, FLTC! The best is yet to come
F-- It seems like there are a ton of things being left out of the considerations, here.
Tax deductions - is she going to take both D16 and S, every year, plus the house?
Why not make medical expenses 50%/50% (or some other percentage?)
Have you both filled out the financial affidavites? You should end up with roughly 50% each of the total assets - does your pension equal that of the house value + her savings?
Call me if you want any other suggestions; I can go through my agreement to give you some ideas to keep in mind. You want this thing to be thorough, so you don't have to go back to make changes after the fact (which is MUCH more complicated and expensive!!)
