I'm in spfld. Literally in the middle of the cornfield!!!
I bet chi-town was a "crazy mess" on nov. 4th and will be on jan. 20th as well!!! way cool!! to be a part of history in the making!
anwho...i'm patiently awaiting H to text me and let me know what the plan is for tonight. who knows he may back out. i wouldn't see at this point why he would. As the paper work needs to be worked out...and if we work it out before it goes to his atty, it will save him cashola!! so it's in his best interest to make this a priority.
who knows, my H is a weird one. no one can seem to get a read on him.
thanks for the input!
christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Yes, you need to ask the questions with some tact. But if you use too much tact and the questions will sometimes get lost in the tact, if you know what I mean. Men respond better to direct questions. When you dance around the bush we (men) do not seem to quit understand what the women is asking.
I think you can be direct, but polite. Ask the questions in a non-threatening way. Show some reluctance when asking. Explain to H that you are having a hard time understanding and that you need his help to t clarify his answers. You may need to re-state the question a couple of time in deferent ways to get through to him what you are asking. Asking him to help you understand where he is coming from. Let him see that you truly want him to help you understand and it is very important to you.
Watch his eyes. If they wonder off into nowhere while thinking or stating his answer. He is looking for something to tell you. If he looks you in the eye he is probability shooting straight. If he crosses his arms across his chest he is closed and protecting himself. If his arms are open and his palms face outward his is open and will be forth coming. These are just a few things to look for. You know him better than he knows himself. Use your womanly insight. Use your knowledge of him to your advantage.
Of course this is a two way street. He can and may well be doing the same to you. Do not show any anger, frustration or contempt to his answers. Stay cool and calm. Do not over react to what he says. Do not become impatient with his lack of cooperation at first. You need to keep relaxed and by you being relaxed it will make him relaxed.
I do not know if this will help you, but this tactic has helped me out for a number of years.
You can do this!!! This is what you have been working for over a year!!!
anwho...i'm patiently awaiting H to text me and let me know what the plan is for tonight.
Isnt' that the worst, waiting?
When my W and I were back on speaking terms there for a bit, I awaited her morning text and like clock work it show up just as soon as she got in the car for her ride to work (so atleast I know OM had no infuence there). Then we started talking on the phone during her breaks, seemed to be going great. Just wish I would've knew all that back and forth and daytime talks would have tripled my cell phone bill!
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
No!!! You will just get back up and start moving forward again. You have more character than that. No one said it was going to be easy, but that has not stopped you yet. Just keep moving forward. You have made changes in leaps and bounds.
H cancelled...a friend at his work past away unexpectedly. He said today was not a good day for him.
He was going out with buddies after work to have a few beers. I was texting him, then tried a different approach. Just said, hey you need to be with your friends right now, text me when you get home, i am sorry about your friend, i will pray for him and his family. he text me back k thank you.
if this is a true story...which i really hope he wouldn't make up something like this. he needs to spend time with friends and be around the people that knew his friend. i didn't want to continue to take away from that...that would have been old me...
he did say we could just talk over the phone tomorrow...i was like no, we need to talk in person. it's important to me...he said it was up to me where and when we meet...so now i have to attempt to rearrange my work schedule. we shall see
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
I am truly sorry that your H lost a friend. It is good that you let him spend time with his friends to night. You do not want to press this one.
Good for you. Stick to your guns on this one. You need to talk in person. He has given you an opportunity to pick your ground. Chose a time and place that both of you can relax in. Do not put yourself in position that you will have to rush this conversation.
You will do well!
My W asked me to meet her for dinner tomorrow night. She is suppose to spend part of this weekend with me at our home. I hope she does not change her mind. I made a DVD with the picture we took at the Gala last week. It is very romantic. I hope it does not push her away. If the bath with rose peddles and bubble did not this DVD should not.
