Things are settling down...not sure that's good!

[Amy M]

Hey, guys!!! Thanks for all the support. I feel good today. I'm a little sore, but not too bad. And, I have to say that I think several of the folks in my office doubted me. So, that was pretty cool!!! They were proud of me.

Just a quick update on my M sitch...for now, I'm pretty detached! I haven't decided yet if that's okay or not. But, I can't do much about it now. I haven't seen H since he was such an A%# on Thursday of last week. I've barely spoken 5 words to him when I've called to talk to the boys.

Last night he called 30 minutes outside the agreed upon window. I answered. He apologized for calling later than normal. I said, "That's fine. They'll call you back when they are out of the bath." The best part was that I didn't even notice he was late calling until he mentioned it.

I called back and just handed phone over...at the end, S6 did bring me the phone back. H said, "So, do you have that stuff ready." It took me a few seconds to realize that he was referring to the settlement agreement. I said, "Oh. No. I'm putting that ball back in your court." He said, "Okay. I'll get that done." I just said, "Okay." And, I meant it!!!

So, after all that, today, I've gotten 2 compliments on my appearance...apparently smiling really does make one more attractive. My PMA is high, and I'm not even acting!!! I'm doing great...I hope I stay at this place. It's nice!

Sandi, I wanted to address your comments about LL's. I'm not sure how to get the WoA if you need them other than to communicate the need to your spouse. I can say for my part that I was good at giving those to H in the beginning, but over time...especially when he started withdrawing, I became resentful and I started withholding them. I don't think it was intentional...it just happened. I made him earn them. I hope that in my future R's I'll be smart enought to recognize that I am doing that before things get out of hand so that we could address it, but who knows.

Have you and H talked about that lately? I can honestly say for me, that not understanding how important that was to him was part of the problem. I don't need them (WoA)...I'm just wired differently. I do need lots of hugs and lots of quality time. So, it never really occurred to me what I was doing by withholding them until things were way far gone.

Now, he does still want them from me. Like even last night, the apologizing about calling late. He wanted me to tell him it was okay...and he wanted to let me know why he was late. I cut him off before he had a chance to give his reason. But, I don't think he owed an apology. The agreement we have is that between 7:30 and 8:00, the kids will be available to receive the phone call from the other parent. If you call at any other time, there's no guarantee that the kids will be on standby. But, if they are available, you can certainly talk to them. The apology was possibly to get the WoA from me. Interesting now that I think about it a little!

At any rate, I'm doing good. Just wanted everyone to know!

Love you all!
Amy