I wish that I had read your H's story before. In a lot of ways it is very similar to my H's. The whole job thing is huge. Not being able to earn the kind of money a man thinks he should is a major self esteem chop. Especially when a man is approaching mid life.
Don't kick yourself about the red flag. Hindsight is always 20/20. Also, my H never forgot stuff before, but now we also have whole convos that he doesn't remember. It truly is a fog.
The hair thing is strange, but I think it more truly speaks to your weight loss at the time and his own feelings of not being "good enough." Frequently the OW is truly nothing special when compared to the wife, but that's the whole point. She is just so damn tickled to have the man's attention that it really builds his ego.
Usually it isn't something that the man wants for ever, just for right now.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
