toh, yeah for you for all your accomplishments! You should be proud of all that! You certainly seem to weather the storm better when you keep busy. Is it only if you keep busy when working with your H? If you get involved in other things that don't include H would you feel good too? There are tons of volunteer groups that can use a shot of ambition from someone like yourself! That would help get you out of the same old same old every day doldrums.
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H again went to talking about someday moving out of state. I just listened for a bit then went upstairs as I did not want to hear it and was afraid I'd cry, and the best way sometimes for me to keep my mouth shut is to walk away. H came up right away and asked me if I was coming back down. I said, not if your going to keep talking about moving away. He said, "Oh, I'm not going anywhere, I'm just talking". I left it at that and did go back down. Nothing more was said.
IMO your H is seeing if he can feel safe around you. Remember the old saying 'believe half of what you hear'...I think it's even less than that.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.