Thanks for the 2x4, I know I need it. It just seems counter-intuitive to let someone you love flounder when he is sick.
My next question is, do I keep heading down the DB path with him? I know I will keep it up for me, it is helping me enormously. Rather what I mean is, do I keep up the meetings as he asks for them (if he asks for them)? Seems like they are so few and far between they should not hamper detachment.
I am the only road block I have to detachment. I am the one getting in my own way and wanting to save someone who has walked away from me. It comes from my sense of family and taking care of family when they are sick even if they do not want it.
I realize that forcing help on him hurts us both - me, it gets me sucked into his sickness, him, it would push him even farther away.
I just want to keep venting about it here, right now, because I am feeling physically sick as the realization of what is happening to him and to me is really sinking in after last night's dinner. He is gone physically and now, I guess I am realizing finally, emotionally and I cannot change that and somehow, it is particularly devastating to me today.
I guess because until last night, I was still in denial. Still convinced I could some how reach him emotionally and now I do not think I can do that and it is crushing me.
