How am I doing? Need some encouragement......

[techguy]

she does feel a connection with me, but doesn't really trust the feeling right now. Does that make sense??

Hi Sam,

Yes, you are right on the mark. Building trust takes enourmous amounts of time and effort. It must be 'earned' little pieces at a time.

Plus, W feels like your changes only happened since she dropped the bomb and moved out. They often worry that the changes only exist because of the seperation. If they move closer to you, then the 'old' Sam will reappear.

So they really don't move closer (at least in their mind). Rather, they just 'hang around' enjoying the moment. Now, the good news is that people's unconcious will slowly move them closer in tiny little babysteps. It happens soooo slowly that the W doesn't even notice. But with each babystep the trust slowly builds in a subliminal sort of way.

But it takes a long time.

Good news is that your relationship is way ahead of many folks on this board (including myself). Just keep your expectations in check and keep plugging away.

I would not worry about the second encounter at all. Try to take things at face value. Wife said she was sick and she probably was. A perfectly reasonable reason to avoid contact and be more reserved. Everyone has up and down days.