I hope choir is super fun tonight! I have one last piece of advice for today (and sorry in advance- it's quite a bit of advice dressed into one post!).
You've sent your letter. Now DON'T wait for a reply. Focus on your own picnic, get on with life, look the other way etc, etc. Let your H do whatever it is that he needs to do to get through his crisis. Let him think on the letter, let him enjoy leaving his socks all over the place in his flat and being messy, let him be under pressure about paying all that money towards your JOINT mortgage every month.
Eventually he'll be questioning his choices. It's a matter of focussing on yourself and making your life the best it can be while he sorts himself out. You can't speed them up- they're on their own clock while they do it, but whether you can see it or not, he's thinking and trying to deal with the changes that have happened in his life since you guys got M. Being left is hard. Revisiting your life and accounting for the change of direction is hard at any time. Do what you need to do to reach your goal. If it means being patient for an extended period of time, do it. If it means wearing a pair of big green knickers on your head and a chopstick in each nostril while dancing the locomotion do it! But only do things if they get you to where YOU want to be.
That's so true, but Julia's definitely the kind of hot English rose who can carry off the green pants on the head look. I'm more a red pants girl myself, although you probably knew that already!
What kinds of pants do you wear, Handsome? (Always wanted to ask!)
Hmm.. thats a point isnt it. It IS a joint mortgage and so he has a responsibility to keep paying half. Its not like its covered, like mine is, by a third party and just because he left doesnt mean he can stop paying. Unless he was giving you the house of course, or you buying him out. I just wondered if it would take the pressure of him, if you offered to pay it all, but maybe thats not right in this case.
I know Lisa said look the other way.. but do you mind if I keep watching and waiting, LOL! I hope he gets in touch soon Julia, just out of respect really. Damn DAMs hey.
Al x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
(((Lisa))) I think green would match my eyes and I have lots of multi coloured chopsticks so that could be fun! One for each day of the week! I really have to address my morning depression thing. It turns out there was a negative atmosphere at work too so I think it all rubbed off on me too. The secretaries had a big bust up and I missed it because I had shut myself in my office but I caught up with the gossip later.
I GALed tonight (I have given up local choir and am actually feeling a bit guilty as they emailed me asking if they had done something wrong!!). I went to see James Bond then went to the pub and got complimented on my eyes - I am wearing a new eye shadow so that was a boost and I shall be wearing it again! The thing that stops me getting on with stuff is the dread of that email popping up in my work email, and I can't shut that down.
I am going to think about that though and work on some goals.
(((Jeff))) I'm intrigued...
(((T))) Your support means so much, thank you. And if you have a recording of your recital I would love to hear it! I did an hours practise of Recorder on Sunday, I played all my old favourite pieces... badly but it was still fun.
good job on having fun !! I will definitely share my recital recording with you! It might take me a couple days to listen to it... sometimes it is really hard to listen to recordings of myself. YAY on playing the recorder!!!! I think we have to play things badly before we can do them well (at least that's how it works for me :O)
Hi Julia, I will also chime in on good job on having fun and keeping a PMA!! That's what it's all about.
Don't mean to ruine your good PMA .... but I always viewed my H's ow as just the vehicle he used to get away. Did Jody mention to you that as long as you are married your H can only committ so much to his new R. She told me that, as well as, staying M, might in a away make him feel safe. Strange way of looking at it, I know. Be the better person & keep detaching.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
