HTTE, The tough road...Facing the big D

[HopefultotheEnd]

I feel out of touch a bit. but good overall. W flaked the other night. Which was for the best she seems to have processed a lot and is now pretty friendly. She sent me a few texts that she was freaking out this weekend about our finances, I responded once that we'll get through it somehow.

I think the sh#t will still hit the fan soon because even though I tell her that we are not sharing finances and tell her that I'm not going to pay her bills She acts and talks like when I get my next paycheck that I will use it to pay her stuff. I like it when we get along but I can't get through to her. So the wake up is coming when I don't and she flips. (shrug)

Last night she asked me if we could still manage to take the kids to Disneyland together. I said we'll see and that it shouldn't be this winter like we usually do. She suggested march after we get out tax refund...I again said, "we'll see".
I don't know if I want to go on that trip. Well I want to but it would be painfull. Let's see where we are in a few months...

After she left I was more sad than I had been in a while. I still want to love her and be there for her but I am prevented by her choices. Sucks really but I am moving on. I know that I'll make it just fine.