Life In the Rough - Can't find my ball...

[kelaaron]

ok girls, I've been flipping and flopping today so I guess I missed something. Are we trying to decide MLC or just jerk?
I too asked that question until I came to this board.

Not to hijack and i will try to make this a short and sweet as possible. At first, my H was just a little different. Changed his job and end 2005. GM died March 2006. Was staying at my mom's on work nights (closer to job) and he missed me like crazy. Sending wonderful texts etc... Then June 2006, refi house, pay off my truck, buy him one. H wanted to know why did we pay off my truck. Well, that is what we had to do for refi. Not my choice but... September 06 was the last msg I got saying I miss you, can't wait to be home or anything of the kind. I still have it in my phone. Couldn't get rid of it and I don't know why. But now I"m glad I still have it. Started getting more distant. Didn't want to bathe or shower with me anymore. Sex started to slide. Dec 06, MIL moves in. New Year's Eve 06 first time OW4 number showed up on phone bill (maybe she should be OW3 but the order I found out, I just don't think of it that way). I asked about the number, just a supervisor from work. Jan 07 the fights started. Over money of all things which there was plenty of and we have never fought about money even when we had NONE. Started wanting to come home all of the time. June 07 went on trip, kissed me before he got on the plane and told me not to cry, that was the last time I think he really wanted to kiss me. I just knew what was going to happen when he came home. We argued for the whole 5 days he was gone. I couldn't figure out what his problem was. Came home, very withdrawn. Well checked cell on line and there were over 200 text msgs to one number from another state, in 5 days! OW3. Just a friend. Just someone I met and hung out with. I still love you it just isn't the same in my heart or soul. You are selfish, wanting me to rub your head to go to sleep. I hate you. I will not stop talking to her. She is my friend. She is important to me. More important than you, after 5 days. Well the the IBC thing. That sort of shut him up for a while. He didn't know what to do. Felt trapped cuz I was sick but had to get me better. I called her and that was the end of their talking but picked right back up with OW4, who I still didn't know about at the time. July 07 was a big month. I thought things were getting better. Daytona, sex better, nicer H. Uncle died. Trip to MD for funeral. On H birthday, day after funeral, MIL stopped speaking to us (boy was that a nice 14 hour car drive.) August 07 we were getting along but not. Trying to get her out of my house. H felt like he couldn't do that to his mother and I felt like I was sick and needed no stress. So finally I told her it just wasn't working. Either she talked to us and acted like a part of the family or she needed to do something else. Well, she decided to do something else. Stress eased up. H and I getting along. The OW2 reared her ugly head. (The homewrecker from 1998-2000 who almost ruined my M). Something was bothering me about the cell bill. I went back to the day we got the account. And guess who's number was there in August 06? OW2. H had gotten new # with new account, which he didn't want BTW, we had had prepaid before that so no bills, H texting her his new #. The first person he texted or called, 5 minutes after he pulled out of drive way that morning. Well you want to talk about the Sh** hitting the fan, it hit it hard for about a month in this house. That is when I found out the supervisor was a woman. Just a friend. She is helping him figure out his head, he is learning a lot from her about being a parent etc...My ass. He hadn't been talking to OW2 all of these years, didn't I see her # was only on there a few times and that was it. Didn't think I would mind that he did talk to her then after all of that time. Well I didn't say would you like me to talk to the guy I had A with after 15 years? I should have but didn't. So talking with OW4 slowed as we were trying. I think it was more to shut me up than anything. I'm a raving bit** when I get going. Fall ok, lots of texting, sex, sexting, being together. Christmas 07 was good. I actually got flowers for Valentines 08. I really thought it was changing. Then May 08 things started going down hill. More distant again, fighting again, accusing me of affair. Well July 08, came home a little late and was proud to tell me that OW4 had texted him from Publix, in an altered state of mind, hypoxic, and he had to go check on her and call ambulance. That was it. If I was altered, I think I would text someone important to me not someone who was just a friend. So I wanted to know what was really going on. Just a friend. Impt to me, more impt than you, all of the same crap from the year before. I don't trust you with me, I don't want to answer to anyone anymore, I don't like you, it was just sex, etc... No more trying. Only here for S. So we are here now. Confused, not really together, H is depressed and we had another alien sighting a few hours ago. Doors slamming, wall punching, H is just tired. I know you are tired, you just worked 7 days in a row, no I'm just tired. We have sex, I don't go to him, but he always asks if it is what I want. Won't go forward unless I say so. Then usually next day, reminds me that he shouldn't have done it, won't do it again, feels nothing. Doesn't look me in the eye, half the time I think he doesn't look at me at all. Aggravated and grouchy with S. It is just nuts and I'm tired too. So that is my MLC. Pretty classic in many ways.