I've been really busy recently and at the weekend went home to my parents for my cousins wedding. She was getting remarried and boy was it boooooooorrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg!. I felt a little sorry for her actually.
S16 is not well. He thought he had an ear infection but H finally took him to the doctors today and he hasn't. He just has a build up of wax but it is causing him a lot of pain. He has to go back on Thursday to have it syringed. I think the last few days are the most I've heard from S16 since he went to live with H. I think he just needed reassurance. He did have a cold when he came to stay with me last weekend but H told him it wasn't a cold he just needed more rest! He told him that if he held his nose and blew his ear would pop and the pain would go away! Unfortunately for S16 I wasn't able to be here as much for him as I think he would've liked as I was at the wedding. He had been invited but he declined the invite.
D18 also phoned tonight. She told me that S16 had also spoken to her but he was ringing her to tell her abuot the tutor review he had a school today. He never mentioned that to me! She then went onto tell me that her and her BF and friends of thiers that BF flat shares with were talking generally about marriage last night and she said for the first time ever it made her realise that just maybe she will not want her dad to give her away when she does tie the knot. She said as she feels now she will be asking my father! I said she could always ask her brother and she said she had considered that as well but at the moment she is closest to her grandad and so he would be her first choice. My dad, if he knew, would be honoured and touched. My mother would burst into tears as she thinks that none of her grandchildren care much about her and my dad! I can't get through to her that they do care but don't necessarily show it in a way that she would prefer. H? Well I think he would be mortified. I don't think he will ever comprehend just how much damage he has done to his R with his children. He and D18 were especially close before he left and now their R is virtually non existent. Me? I have mixed feelings b/c I love all of these men in different ways. Mostly I feel sorry for H b/c I have tried to warn him so many times that this might happen. He seems to think that as time passes by things will get easier and everything will return to 'normal'. Well things will get easier but they will never be the same again and he only has himself to blame. However, I'm pretty certain that if this scenario ever plays itself out it will be me who is seen as the 'bad' person placing unneccessary influence on my children. They and I know the real truth and that is all that matters.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
