I hope choir is super fun tonight! I have one last piece of advice for today (and sorry in advance- it's quite a bit of advice dressed into one post!).
You've sent your letter. Now DON'T wait for a reply. Focus on your own picnic, get on with life, look the other way etc, etc. Let your H do whatever it is that he needs to do to get through his crisis. Let him think on the letter, let him enjoy leaving his socks all over the place in his flat and being messy, let him be under pressure about paying all that money towards your JOINT mortgage every month.
Eventually he'll be questioning his choices. It's a matter of focussing on yourself and making your life the best it can be while he sorts himself out. You can't speed them up- they're on their own clock while they do it, but whether you can see it or not, he's thinking and trying to deal with the changes that have happened in his life since you guys got M. Being left is hard. Revisiting your life and accounting for the change of direction is hard at any time. Do what you need to do to reach your goal. If it means being patient for an extended period of time, do it. If it means wearing a pair of big green knickers on your head and a chopstick in each nostril while dancing the locomotion do it! But only do things if they get you to where YOU want to be.
