The emotional ups and downs are tiring. Beej, I know you get frustrated. I get frustrated too. I hate living this life that has been dealt to me. I really enjoy who I've become, but just hate the other crap.
I get scared guys. Very scared. Its not B. Its me. I've wanted my wife back so much and have worked so hard for so long....
but then I think....why?
Am I in the fight just for the fight? Like I'm trying to hold on to a ghost. Maybe she is right. Maybe we are better off as friends. I don't want to be the guy whose wife dumps him, can never get past it and lives like a widower. Never getting over his "deceased" wife.
Confusion prevails in my life, especially right now. I'm still trying, but each day gets harder to keep it going. And with the holidays coming....
Hoo boy! Gonna be tough. I want to have a New Years party at my house. Invite everyone, just like the old days. Family, friends
This morning, the wife called and spoke to Amanda while I was taking a shower. When I came out, Amanda told me she called and that Juli wanted to talk to me, so call her. I called and Juli answered and we talked for about 5 minutes. Sounds like she is going to have a good day. In a real good mood.
Today, I went grocery shopping during my lunch. I'll make another stop after work, to get the "cold" stuff. I'm going to email the wife and let her know some of the stuff I got. I'll let her know that I'll make a daycare payment for her this week and ask if she wants me to get something for dinner.
Or maybe I should just tell her that I'll get something for dinner?
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
