No real updates from today. I am slowly but surely easing my way back into being productive at work again, which is a very good thing.
Today I had to leave early though as the repairman was(finally) coming to fix our boiler. He's here now and H and I have been emailing back and forth about the boiler, which somehow is really comforting to me. I have to admit though when I saw the subject line of H's first email, it was "hey", and this is the subject he used for all of his scary emotional emails. I guess I am not completely calm yet, as I felt panicked and sick to my stomach when I saw this. Then when I saw the only issue was the boiler, I felt silly but this reminds me that even if things are on the path to being mended, there is actually so much pain there still that I am going to need to work through, in all likelihood without H's help for a long while...
Other than that H and I did joke around a lot this morning before I left, and it was really comfortable. Every day I had been preparing myself for the worst, because I have been through the emotional wringer as we all have...I think I am very slowly starting to expect normalcy when I am with H, and this is helping me in every aspect of my life. Of course it does mean that if there is a major backslide, I will be more hurt, but I truly think 2 weeks of sustained positive behavior means that we have finally moved forward, even if it's not totally where I want to be yet.
Also remembered something from Friday night that may or may not have meant anything. H and I were sitting looking at watches online, and he really loves watches...we'd both been drinking and he said really loudly in this cute voice that he used to use "I love you", and I know this sounds weird, but I am not sure if he was talking to the watch or to me. It actually would be normal for him to say something like that to some object he really wants when he looks at it in a magazine. I caught it sort of late and so just said something lame like "of course you do", so hopefully it was directed at the watch and not me otherwise my response should have been a little more positive :).
OK off to cook now--being in my house means that I am spending loads of time cooking again, which really makes me happy...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
