New Me - Will WAW ever notice?

[Kakatal]

{{{Kak}}}} Distressed is so right, tho it's so hard to put into practice when we let our emotions lead us..hang in there and today is a new day

Tawnya

This is where detachment come into play. You are letting your W control your feelings, your moods and your life. You need to take the emotions out of your expectations, out of your interactions with her and most importantly out of your talks with her.

Do you really want to give someone else that much power over you?

First off I knew you would beat me up good so thanks!

No, I don't want anyone to have any control over my emotions but myself. I am just tired of hurting, tired of trying to answer my S4's questions as to why mom doesn't love me anymore, why she doesn't want to live with us, etc. It is so damn hard to suppress your own emotions & pretend all is well when your heart is getting torn asunder. Felt that w was just using me to make herself feel good & played me like a fool claiming she wasn't leading me on. When in reality I fooled myself & then took those frustrations out on her.

She sure as he11 does not want it and I don't believe you want her to have it but you keep serving it up to her on a silver platter. So stop doing it and take back the power over your life. Become the man your were meant to be, the man your kids will look up to, the man people can rely on. Its hard yes but act like this is a NIKE commercial and "JUST DO IT."

To be honest I feel a whole hell of a lot better today. I really feel that things are done, that w will not be able to change herself in order to accept me for who I am now. D is inevitable as my SIL so eloquently put it. Sad but I feel ready for it. Tired of the pain. My frame of mind now makes detachment much easier. I had told w this yesterday as well - that I do not think she will ever give us a 2nd chance and that I just need to accept it & move on. Told her I will never again bring up the R or M - done with talking about it. I just do not see the need to ever again talk about it. Looking forward to March & being free.

I'm having a better day now. Two 2x4 beating before 10:00am. Gotta love it!

Always love when my misery can bring joy to someone else's day

Get yourself straightened out and have a great week. Tell yourself its going to be a great week. Then make this a great week. Positive thinking from here on out. No more backslide, no more R talk and no more allowing people to control you life.

Tim

This is where I am headed. Expect the D - that is the only expectation I need to keep running through my head.

W came by this morning to pick up kids. Had made her coffee. Asked her to bring leftovers from garage sale to goodwill. Discussed what to do with kids tonight since she has to work. Was pleasant toward her - no sourpuss on face, just the same approach as in prior weeks. W asked if there was anything she wanted me to do at house today. I just changed subject since I don't want anything from her.

Started working on myself again - going to paint my bedroom Sat with D9, mounted my pull up bar & going to give the P90x fitness program my best effort in order to get my PMA to a level it's never been! Watched an infomercial about it & my brother has done it before so figured I'd give myself 90 days to see what results I get. Taking kids to San Diego Zoo Sunday, Disneyland Dec 3. Just going to get back to living for today with my kids.