K- I know I have to be ready to handle what will come no matter what happens. I think when I get mad is when I feel more like I need to do it. But I don't stay mad at him for very long, have never been able to. H calling her from the restroom really bothers me. If that is the case I need to say, I can't do this. I hate it is the holidays and that this is happening at all. When I wake up in the morning, I still feel like it is all a dream. I wake up and all is good, then reality hits and it just sucks. I appreciate that I have to ready to be alone and that he will leave. I think to myself, how could he leave we are so good together, Hell people tell him how great we are. But then I think I am just a fool, and it doesn't matter. Whatever is going on in his head is what he is listening too. I almost want to borrow a car that he doesn't know and sit there at the store and see him interact with OW. I think that might make me realize what I need to do, if I could see them together.
