Sorry you're feeling down. I have to agree with Lisa, assuming your primary goal at this point is to save the M. I know you will have heard this a thousand times, but if you really want to save the M, time is going to have to be your friend. As Lisa said, you'll have to focus on building a friendship with your H first, and just start to insert some doubt into his mind by being the person that you are and making him question his current path. IMO, by sending him that email, you have opened the door to friendship and made yourself a safe person to be around. Are you happy enough with that for the moment? You put a lot of thought into that email, and from what you said, it reflected the person who you are inside, the one who needs to set boundaries. I know you don't know what your H is going to say, but honestly Julia at this point what is the worst that he could say that you haven't heard before, and how could it impact you? I think you were very strong for sending that email, knowing that you may not get the favorable response that you would like. If he doesn't respond, this is him being unable to face up to his own issues, or being so wrapped up in his own world that he can't see past it. I would bet money that the email has had an impact on your H, even if he never discusses it with you.
I wouldn't call your H to talk things through (since you have tried talking things through with him in the past and not had success), unless you are ready to move on without him, and it doesn't sound to me like this is where you are at.
I'd stay dark at least for awhile and hopefully you will get some kind of response. If you don't hear from him after a certain period of time, and you want to "let him off the hook", you could always try a fun forward or something like that, but it is your choice whether you want to let him off the hook or not. Do you have any other "business" things you need to contact him about? Maybe you could wait to reach out until you have one of those?
I guess my main point from this post is that only you know when enough is enough, and only you know if you still have more to give. Marriages have come back from worse situations, so as long as no papers have been filed and signed, IMO, there is still hope.
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
