The next stage, maybe

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Julia,
I'm so sorry this is hard for you. I did wonder what you were hoping to achieve by the email, and now you are left waiting? No, I wouldnt send him a jokey text, probably not a good idea.

Also, no, that girl didnt post that message for your benefit. Its hard to bear, but you are not the focus for her, or SIL. Life has moved on and I'm sure they dont base their actions on you, so, no it is just what it is.

This is between you and your H. No, you havent made a mistake, he is dating someone else, you know that. No, it you havent reinforced any view.. he knows you are a nice, good person. His friendly messages about the cat and your job show that he has no bad feelings towards you. He just doesnt want to be in a romantic R with you, because he is in a romantic R with someone else right now.

What good would it do you to ignore it and remain 'safe' as you said? I dont think Jody has all the answers, she comes from a standpoint that all these men will have a change of heart.. looking at the advice she has given me, you, MrsM etc. But, thats not always the case.

The only option I think you have is to strip away the layers, empower yourself, be honest and either text/email or phone him and ask to have a conversation with him, if you really want to know?

I think the biggest thing to accept is, you and him dont really stand any kind of chance whilst he is engrossed in an R with someone else, especioally if he has just taken the decision to move in with that person and their R is at that stage right now. Things might change, but for now... Unless you get some positive sign from him, like he starts contacting you again tentitavely, or wants to meet up now and then, I dont think you can do anymore. It would be different if he were single (like Essies H seems to be).

Al x