Stage 2.25

[istherehope]

Hi Belle,

Looks like we have a lot of similarities in terms of bomb date, age, time together etc...

The last time we talked about R was just over 2 weeks ago and it was HORRIBLE. Basically H said he couldn't do it anymore and didn't want to be married to me, and a bunch of other things that I do not want to remember, then left on a business trip the next morning. I sent him an email saying if he wanted to move out, I wouldn't stop him, and that I loved him no matter what. I really thought he would move out though I didn't think it was over. Then he became nicer and suddenly everything changed. He came back, and we have been in the house together for over a week so far, but nothing has been said. I would be fine with this for another month or so if staying at my friend's house weren't still in the picture...This is what hasn't been discussed. At this point I don't think H wants me to go, but I am fairly certain that he won't tell me this. I don't want to go either, but at the same time I can't just not go at all as I don't think a de facto reconciliation is the right kind of reconciliation here, but I am still pondering this. I am trying to figure out the best thing to do about this situation, and I've given myself a deadline of tomorrow...

So in terms of the stages:

Stage 1: Decreasing negative feelings and increasing positive ones
Stage 2: Friendship
Stage 3: Romance/dating
Stage 4: Reconciliation

Like others have said, the stages are sort of fluid. Stage 1 is the worst, and I am wagering the point at which most couples end up making the D decision as it seems like most interactions are full of spew and negativity. I think in my sitch we are finally firmly entrenched in stage 2, no going back due to no negativity for over 2 weeks.

I'm going to check out your sitch now. Thanks for posting :).

ITH