As long as no one remarries then there is always the chance... right??
This became my core belief...I tried the move on thing...even got emotionally involved with someone...I WAS NOT ready and we are talking over a year after H was gone!...I soon realized that I still had hope as long as neither of us remarried...even if the divorce did become final (we filed twice, neither became final)...
My H had a severe MLC...OW w/ PA...even talked about marrying her...I was a mess for probably the better part of a year...I can tell you the best thing I did for me and my kids was the GAL, 180's for myself...not H!, and getting a job that was rewarding, fulfilling, and supporting...
Like you, I married my 9th grade boyfriend...we had been together since I was 15!...I had made him my life...what a lot of pressure I put on him huh?...I now realize that it is important to keep myself centered and balanced...then I can be a compliment to him...and not dependent of his...
He has been home now for about 2 years...I still have a life...I do things independent of him...but I do make time to spend with him too...
It has been a real struggle...one that I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to win...I really lost hope so many times in the 2 years he was away...his return was not one of begging for forgiveness...treating me like a queen...winning me back...it was more about coming together with a common purpose...he wanted to love me again...and I wanted his love...and I wanted to be able to trust him again...this all took time...not an overnight transformation...not like in the movies at all...
Each of us is different...but I really believe that as long as your H/W doesn't remarry anything really is possible...and I am happy to say my H is much improved version of his old self..he had issues before that I just overlooked but were really the base of his MLC...now there is less to overlook and more to take in...I am happy that my NEW marriage is so much better...even though I would have gone through eternity with the old one...I really don't think it is that they value those vows less then we do...but they are truly lost in their own internal struggle that we may never understand...it is what it is...and hopefully they get through it and their family is still around...
I also thought my son (we had two adult daughters when he left) would be better off with a dad who was there for him...now, I am so thankful he has his OWN dad back in his life...not that I think the pain was worth it but I am glad I was able to make it...nothing was worth what we went through as a family...but I am glad we are all together again!
It does get better...but it takes a very long time...and actually this is for your good as well as theirs...
