I try to every night, all in vain...in vain

[Sugar and Spice]

Lost and Kat, surprisingly enough there are only a few things that come readily to my mind.

I know that there cannot be any contact between my children and this baby until paternity is established, my DD has been told and then only if THEY CHOOSE to have contact. I will not have any contact with this child either (this sounds so aswful, but I'm not sure if I will be able to anyway...). I know that once this child is here, then H will have to be proactive about getting the testing done and moving this thing along one way or the other.

You'd think I would have a laundry list of things and I do, but they are so far out at this point that I need not mention them now. I guess for the interim, I will just have to see what actions H takes before I can really decide what I'm going to do.

This whole thing makes me sick inside.