Hey man, I'm really bushed right now, but I wanted to stop by for a minute. Maybe I'll have some more to say later...but right now I would just say...IDK...I think when we hit this place in our lives, for some reason the old stuff we bury does seem to come back again. I have my own demons. I am just now, finally, I think starting to heal as a true adult.
The "love" offered by the OM, however you want to characterize it, makes you feel so valued that there aren't words for it. And then, it goes too...and I think, speaking for myself, it's like every ugly thought that you could have had about yourself threatens to cave in your soul, every old hurt can feel fresh again.
Not that she's necessarily "thinking" those things...I'm still trying to figure it out myself. That song Heartbreaker by Pink comes to mind, I remember hearing that at a vulnerable time..."might as well lay down and die." That was a passing feeling...but I think it still rests inside me sometimes waiting to rear its ugly head when I feel unvaluable.
The book I quoted in that post is supposed to help me retrieve my core value. I'll let you know if it happens.
