New Here-From Newcomers- hoping for more input...

[optimistwife]

ITH,

I do agree with a lot of what you are saying. H is ALWAYs the type to have lots of female friends. I do realize that this part of his personality is what made me fall in love with him in the first place. On the flip side I know he has had several friendships that the girls have had lots more feelings for him... And have gotten hurt..

What threatens me is that he keeps those friendships very secret... They are 'his' friends- not our friends. Even his previous BF (the one that I don't think is around anymore) I only saw/met once! in two years. And he wasn't honest about spending time with her.

These are all huge issues for me, and they will have to be respect issues if things are to work out in the future.

I don't mind personal friends of the same sex at all, but I also know that his way of 'friendship' feels like dating to these girls, because they start to persue!. Call/text at all hours, they plan outings together- alone. These things have been so detrimental to our R, and have led him into indecision with these.

I do think he loves to fall in love. I do think the line for him is very blurred. I don't think he has ever ML with these friends (what I want to believe anyway).

Well- we aren't to that point yet. That will have to wait for stage 4 I guess.

I agree we've made it much farther than most. I really have a hard time seeing sometimes how it CAN"T work out after all the time we've put into it, and that they are still around. If they were truly done they would be gone.