{{{T2L}}}, your post is so inspiring!!!!! Thank you so much for putting your time in for me and helping me thru this difficult time. I will definitely look into Surviving An Affair. I guess that's what was missing. I am doing 180s, Getting a life but I didn't really have a solid plan or direction for turning around the dynamic of our relationship. I am so glad to hear that you are getting your H's attention. I tried to find your FIRST thread so I can read what you did exactly but couldn't find it on the board, could you spend a minute to summerize what you did?
"Expect irrational and insanity and nonsense", yes, I get a lot of that. All his decisions now seem irrational and insane. I am trying very hard not to expect him to think the same way he did when he was with me.
"Yes you deserve much, but don't let that be the reason you go to find it, if that makes sense." I had to think hard about this one. I know my C says to give this one year as well but I am just not seeing any hope from H's side. But now that I have read your e-mail, I think I can hold out a little longer. I can at least read that book and find out if I can implement Plan A. If there is something I can try, I will do it. I am a determined person (some might say stubborn) but my persistance has paid off many times for me in the past.
"I want to be where I am totally completely confident and content all by my lil old self until I would even consider finding anyone. Right now its the 1st time in most of my life that I'm single(I married my 8th grade boyfriend) and its ok and I am kinda enjoying it." I feel this way on most days now, thank goodness. The first few months were really really tough. But now my mindset is, hey, I'm free! I can make most of my own decision without anybody's OK. That's a great feeling!
Last night I went out to a friend's cocktail party, very civilized, nibbles and good conversation. Fun! I can sleep at whatever time I want, do my own thing and not have to worry about pleasing someone else. It is a good feeling. I love my kids to death and I give them joy. I like being this person and am comfortable in my skin. I just feel sad and ickky inside when I think of H so I try not to do that too much.
Last edited by PositivelyMommy; 11/16/0801:09 PM.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
