Stage 2.25

[istherehope]

Thanks Sep,

I have to keep believing in the actions rather than the words. Well there really haven't been any words...although this morning H mentioned something about putting up the paintings I'd been doing at my friend's house so that they would be all over when she gets back. I felt devastated that he even mentioned my friend's house, and in a roundabout way me being there, but it didn't go beyond that weird passing comment. At the same time part of me wishes he would just ask about it. I would like to know some of what he's thinking at this point, but I am going to wait for him to lead on this.

Yesterday was another nice and fairly normal day. I went to town, did some errands, and had lunch with a friend. I got back pretty late, and when I was on the train got a text from H asking when his video game was coming home. I had agreed to pick up a video game for him. I thought this was pretty cute as I'm sure that he just wanted to know when I was coming home...

When I got home, we hung out only a very little bit as he wanted to play his new game. I made dinner, and we watched a show. There was no real physical affection, though he did rub my stomach once, and grab my behind...no ML though. Today he wants us to work on the yard, and we've done a bit of cleaning around the house. We're going to the pet store, and maybe the grocery store later. I guess that will be interesting to see whether we do shopping for the week together or how he acts when we are there.

I'm trying not to notice every little thing he says so much anymore. This morning I felt like he was a little distant again, and I almost panicked. If things are going to work out though, I know that I am going to need to ride through these situations and realize not everything is related to the M. Even if things are now sort of flatlining, they are a whole lot better than they have been for the last 4 months, and I am incredibly grateful for this...

ITH