I don't recognize her anymore

[faithisbelieving]

It's still difficult.

Tonite, I went to my friend's 50th birthday. I've known him forever. We grew up together.

In a room full of people I felt alone.

A good buddy of mine was there...still in great shape after all these years. His wife was there...an attractive woman. She approached me and started to talk near the end of the evening:

Her: Are you married?
Me: Well...I'm sorry to say that I am going thru a divorce
Her: Do you have kids?
Me: Yes...8 and 5. How did you meet 'John'?
Her: I was with my father on his boat and some tall handsome guy was windsurfing. I was seeing some other great catch but I told my dad I had to go meet that guy. He thought I was crazy. So, after John pulled up...and he was wearing cool Hawaiian bathing suit...I went over to meet him. I ended up dumping the other guy and my parents thought I was crazy.
Me: ...and he still is in great shape
Her: ..he still has a great body....(she made some other comment about holding high expectations)
Me: Did you ever find out what happened to the other guy
Her: I heard he still wants to be with me but he is married and has kids.


So...I listened to her story which....as it unfolded....played across my mind and ears as one of attraction, unwimpiness and maintenance of that. 18 years.

During the conversation, some minor discussion of my sitch came out and at one point, as I find happens not infrequently, the OW listening will 'defend' the STBXW. It is difficult not to try and defend oneself...but...I don't (N.U.T.) and I change course in the conversation but in a 'fair' way to STBXW.


Then, here it comes:
Her: I have someone if you would like to meet somebody.
Me: That would be nice..but...perhaps after all the smoke clears.
Her: Did you check out J Date?

I drove home......



FIB