I guess for me, I don't understand the 'bringing me food in my office, the coming to congratulate me on my business success, the thanking me for allowing her to come here on thursdays and spend time with the girls' and then saying 'I just want our parting of ways to be amicable'.
It seems like she wants me to be her friend. But that's it.
Frank, don't try to rationalize her when she in clearly irrational. (I'm just as guilty of that as you are)
I wonder where she sees herself in 5 years. She probably sees some idealistic happily ever after situation but reality is probably closer to broke, depressed and alone.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
W called a few minutes ago to ask me if I knew where D17 is because she called her and didn't get an answer. W KNOWS she's working a play with her BF. I told her that and she asked if she was feeling better today as she was sick yesterday. I said she was.
She said she called D13's cell and talked to her and that if D13 needed to go anywhere that W was home 'just laying around'. I told her to have fun laying around.
Talked about a couple other things and said bye.
she doesn't usually call me to ask where D17 is or anything like that. More weird.
Yours too?!? My W used to get on my case for not having my act together, for forgetting things she swore she had already told me. In the first part of our M she even thought it was "cute" -- called me her little "absent-minded professor" once. But somewhere along the line that just started to grate on her, as she takes those kinds of things very personal.
But since the separation I've watched as she begins to lose control. Oh, she puts up a good act, but I recognize now the exasperation she expresses at realizing she's forgotten something important. The shoe is now on the other foot, and she forgets who she said what to ... and what she said to who.
Does your W normally have a bad memory? Mine had a really good memory before all of this started. Now she forgets everything.
No, she has always had a better memory about the kids whereabouts than I have. She knows D17 is working the matinee and evening shows at the play she's involved in today.
Another oddity. The past few days I have driven by her house and OM (man-boy) truck isn't anywhere to be found. I'm kind of disappointed because when I see it it keeps up my level of indifference and detachment because I'm so p.o'd.
Who would have thought that I'd be MORE perturbed when I DON'T see OM's truck there. Like, WTF, can't she keep that affair going and leave me alone?
although, I can fantasize that there is a NEW OM, I just haven't seen evidence of it. But she did say the other day that she was hoping our 'parting of ways was amicable'.
Was taking to W's brother today. he said that when he spoke to her a week ago that she told him that even though she was broke and stressed out it was better than having to 'take care' of me.
After reading some of your recent posts I'm not sure what your goal is. Are you looking to reconcile with your W or are you looking to heal and move on? I'm not trying to be a jerk or push you one way or the other I just get mixed messages from your posts. Honestly, after what you have been through, I could understand either way.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
Both. Heal and either move on or reconcile. Healing comes first. I just don't know what she wants as she seems to be sending mixed messages. I don't think she knows what she wants, she just doens't want what we had.
I don't either. I want something better. I would like it to be with her.
I think your Ws actions scream "I don't know what I want". It will probably take a while for her to figure that out.
I've been thinking a lot lately that this situation may suck for us but at the same time, it gives us time to grow and learn in ways that we probably would not have otherwise. I know that I have become stronger, more confident and more mature since this happened. I'm also almost debt free and better financially. I wonder if it hadn't happened, if I would still be the same person I was 2 years ago.
Last edited by Imageer; 11/17/0802:20 AM.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
